I Thought It Was Just The Bureaucracy, but...

Take these issues, put them together, and decide for yourself.



Today was the day I was going to take GHTCs shuttle to the medical clinic for my driver physical and drug test, plus my little trip to the airport for my written drivers' exam. I did those things, and then...



"They screwed up your drug test," the answer came back from the inspector on the other side of the counter.



"Beg pardon?" I said.



"It says here you tested positive for opiates."



"Yes, I have an arthritic condition that requires something stronger than over the counter medication, what of it?"



"We'll need a note from your doctor, on his official letterhead, saying he prescribed the medication for you," she said... and then, her supervisor said as well. Feh.



I get it, the City doesn't want a bunch of potheads, crackheads and pillheads (don't even get me started on drunks) running around in taxicabs.



I go to my doctor's office, and I don't even get to see my doctor. The little man at the window decides to tell me that the doctor is getting ready to close up the office, and that he'd be able to write the letter in "3-5 business days."



3-5 business days? To write a letter that's barely one page? Right. I dismissed myself before I bit his head off.

In retrospect, those things may not be issues after all for one real reason. I can submit a new drug test to the City that's clean, and they'll move forward with my licensing process.

"Clean." Even I have to bite my lip a little when I think about that. It's not that I'm "unclean" because of it. If OTC pain relievers and antiinflammatories did anything for what I have, I'd be taking them. I'd be gladly trading the crunk feeling I have during my first two hours of taking a vicodin for the feeling of, well, nothing. The fact is that my brain fights off so much pain from this that my mood elevates and I walk better when I take my painkillers. However, to run the residue out of my system, I am trying to manage with Advil for today and early tomorrow to see if the whiz quiz pops negative for me tomorrow morning. Generally speaking, there is no amount of codeine that stays in my system for much more than 24 hours, and I can only guess that Wednesday's fluke was due to the fact that I had a flare up at 2:30 in the morning that required an extra dose of steroids and another vike to get me where I could sleep again.

Trust me. When pain prevents you from sleeping, you've got yourself some damn pain, brother.

In any case, I'm pretty confident I can get another drug test and have it pop negative for me.

However, there's an old saying about things happening in threes.

So, I run down to the grocery store last night with all my spare change looking for something sweet. I run it into the machine, it spits me out a voucher for 7 bucks and the cashiers won't take them anymore. I have to go to Customer Service, which is of course closed by the time I get to the window.

Anyway, I took care of it this morning and scored some Doritos and a small tub of sour cream. My cravings had changed overnight.

All in all, I look at yesterday as the day that was just meant to see how I handled small disappointments. Sometimes, you just wind up pouring a little wine on your head and keep on dancing.

Anyway, tomorrow I'll try the drug test thing again and record my post Super Bowl issue of Sports Illustrated. Life will go on and I should be driving by Monday.

G